This post should perhaps come with a warning because the content may make some squeamish. You may cringe and turn away or curse that I’m bringing that topic up again. You may sigh and roll your eyes and tell me you don’t want to know. I’m about to talk about the gym. Working out. Taking control of one’s life, making goals and fighting damn hard for them. Turn away now if that kind of talk makes you uncomfortable.
Six months ago I made the decision to take control. I was on a roller coaster of telling myself to be happy one minute, and seeing the weight going on and feeling unfit the next. My friends told me not to worry, what was I worried about? I laughed it off. Maybe they were right. Then the whole self doubting/hating process started again.
I had one of the wisest moments in my life really when I decided that If I didn’t like what I saw, then I needed to change it. Simple.
I went to see a nutritionist and together we worked through things. I started a new way of eating, with her guidance, and I haven’t looked back. I started walking. Just 15 minutes a day at first. I saw changes in my body and moved my exercise to running, and then the gym. Slowly the weight came off.
Today I can happily say that I am in the right place. I went to see my nutritionist today, and while there is no ‘goal’ (this isn’t just a weight loss kick, this is a change, remember?), today marks the day that I can say I am now confident that I know what I’m doing. I’ve lost 7kg, (and I admit I wasn’t big to start with), I’m fit and I am toned. I’m wearing singlet tops this coming summer and waving goodbye without having to hold on to the flab under my arms as I do so.
So it’s been, and still is, freakin hard work. I’m up out of bed by 5.15am, sweating my butt off at the gym 6 days a week and pushing myself harder and harder.
But today I smile. Because I’ve made it. I’m celebrating quietly to myself, and now with you because it can be done.
My family have been extremely supportive. They have put up with the ‘bad’ food being banned from the house. They hung out for the days when the neighbours bought over a bag of chips when we got together. They have put up with me saying “If it’s not a fuel for my body, I don’t need it in my pantry”. They’ve had to wait for me to come home from the gym before going somewhere. They’ve listened to me when I’m down and encouraged me along the way.
So today I celebrated with them. I got this idea from the gorgeous Rachel Hosking. I greeted my kids home from school today with a party. It was a decadent spread, with homemade cupcakes, chocolate, donuts, strawberries and pineapple, and we celebrated. I wrote them all a name place card with a note inside telling them little stories of why they make me happy. I thanked them for being on my side while I took control of who I wanted to be and the skin I wanted to live in and we enjoyed a splash out on all that bad food that hadn’t been allowed in the house for months.
So as I cleaned up the kitchen afterwards, I decided I would share what I was thinking. I’m not big on sharing super personal stuff on my blog, but this journey deserves a mention. I’m not stopping what I’m doing, I’ve not reached goal, I’m in this for life. I’m the only one that could make the change, I’m the only one responsible for me. I’m giving myself a pat on the back for realising it and for getting off my ass and doing something about it.
Because I was the only one that could make that difference.
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